Since multilingual doesn't mean being able to carry on several conversations at once, I've started to look into Danish lessons. How will this look on my curriculum vitae? Speaks a smattering of Azeri, Knows how to pronounce the Cyrillic alphabet, Can recognize the many different "o" sounds in Danish. Impressive, no?
Denmark offers free language lessons to foreigners who hold a CPR number. A CPR number is the be all and the end all here. You can't blow your nose without one. It functions the same as our Social Security numbers but there isn't any reticence about flashing your number all over the place. Nobody much cares what your name is but they are damn well interested in that number. I had to give one to the guy at the cell phone store when I bought a SIM card in order to get a special offer that was only available once. They were keeping track of who had taken advantage of it by their CPR numbers.
Maybe that's why the bank is super security conscious with their e-banking and debit cards. We got our dance cards last week. A few days ago the pin codes showed up for them. When I opened the envelope (one of those perforated on 3 sides thingies), I couldn't find the number. It turned out to be hiding under a large sticker that looks like what we stick on our windows for car registration. There were a ton of instructions (all in Danish)...so I Google translated and got a bunch of nonsense about masking the code in the window by filling out numbers from 0 to 9 in rows and columns in the grid of colored squares before I threw the envelope away. I also got something about monsters, too. Not sure where they fit into the PIN code picture but it showed me the limits of Google Translate.
Then on top of the PIN code monsters, there is the issue of menus...not the restaurant kind, the telephone kind. Denmark, being a modern technological country, has embraced the automated menu system that North America has. I don't think I've made one phone call to a business, yet, where I didn't have to fumble through several levels of menus....most often to eventually hit the one that accidentally " ends this call". Yesterday, I called Dong Energy (I love these names) and reported a power outage when I really just had a question about my bill. Those crafty Danes (who love queues so much they make you take a number to blow your nose), have foiled me every time I've tried to bail on the options by hitting zero.
I persevered with getting through to the cable company (to find out how come the "fuld pakken" is only 15 channels...which it isn't....I've got a technician coming...a major break through), the electric company (to find out why my bill is so high), and the Kommune (just because I was on a roll). I also needed to find out where to pay the bills, since we don't have e-banking yet.
I paid the bills at the bank, for the princely sum of 20kr a piece. And decided to that it was time to learn to speak some Danish.
They call them "crash courses" but I think boot camp is a more apt description. These people (or the government who is paying for it) REALLY want you to learn the language when you sign up for one of these things. I checked out the web sites for several schools, looking for the one that wasn't on the government program. I didn't find it.
There are 8 modules. Each module is 6 to 8 weeks long. You attend classes for a minimum of 3 days per week, 3.5 hours a day. If you miss 2 classes you are dumped and have to start over. They group you by your level of education, so college grads study with college grads and so forth. There are state exams you have to pass in order to move on. Some of them have an entry interview. Okay, then...
One of the schools is offering a concentrated summer school class beginning and ending before I go home on holidays. It runs from June 27th to July 17th and you have to go 5 mornings a week. There are tests, exams, homework, and the thing I hated most in the high school....the language lab. My Dreamweaver class is blowing my mind, since my head is just not on school stuff right now, so if I decide to drop it, maybe I'll do this. I think I'm nuts.
Our stuff is finally being delivered this afternoon between twelve and two. John has been so involved in this, he says he might actually come home. Since he's paying through the nose to have someone bring it "in" the house, I think he wants to get his money's worth and make them move furniture and lay out the carpets. That's probably a good idea since I think there is a 200 pound piece of glass on this table and the same for the pillars it sits on. Also, for some reason he's expecting a lot of damage (he's such an optimist), so maybe that's bringing him home....or else he thinks I won't open the door to a group of strange men.
Unpacking and setting up is going to keep my busy for a while. I can't wait to use my good china again....I think blue is a great color for the kitchen, is it not?
I've got more of Lars' things to pile on the spare room bed for him to take out of here. I think I'll go and do that right now since he'll be by this afternoon. I found this huge blow torch in the shed the other day, and finally figured out why one would have such a thing. They use them to incinerate the weeds and grass that grow up between the patio stones. I think I'll ask him to torch some greenery and stay out of the pool today. I'm all out of clean towels and the driveway is beginning to look like no one lives here.
In the meantime, we've had one more "visitor". This one was on Monday night around ten o'clock. So maybe this wasn't a daytime while hubby's at work kind of operation after all. I'm thinking a gate at the end of the driveway might be in order. I don't think I need to see them walk all the way up to the house. Might as well turn them around before they get too excited, and in the winter it will give them a shorter walk back to their cars. I'm sure that kindness would be appreciated.
Denmark offers free language lessons to foreigners who hold a CPR number. A CPR number is the be all and the end all here. You can't blow your nose without one. It functions the same as our Social Security numbers but there isn't any reticence about flashing your number all over the place. Nobody much cares what your name is but they are damn well interested in that number. I had to give one to the guy at the cell phone store when I bought a SIM card in order to get a special offer that was only available once. They were keeping track of who had taken advantage of it by their CPR numbers.
Maybe that's why the bank is super security conscious with their e-banking and debit cards. We got our dance cards last week. A few days ago the pin codes showed up for them. When I opened the envelope (one of those perforated on 3 sides thingies), I couldn't find the number. It turned out to be hiding under a large sticker that looks like what we stick on our windows for car registration. There were a ton of instructions (all in Danish)...so I Google translated and got a bunch of nonsense about masking the code in the window by filling out numbers from 0 to 9 in rows and columns in the grid of colored squares before I threw the envelope away. I also got something about monsters, too. Not sure where they fit into the PIN code picture but it showed me the limits of Google Translate.
Then on top of the PIN code monsters, there is the issue of menus...not the restaurant kind, the telephone kind. Denmark, being a modern technological country, has embraced the automated menu system that North America has. I don't think I've made one phone call to a business, yet, where I didn't have to fumble through several levels of menus....most often to eventually hit the one that accidentally " ends this call". Yesterday, I called Dong Energy (I love these names) and reported a power outage when I really just had a question about my bill. Those crafty Danes (who love queues so much they make you take a number to blow your nose), have foiled me every time I've tried to bail on the options by hitting zero.
I persevered with getting through to the cable company (to find out how come the "fuld pakken" is only 15 channels...which it isn't....I've got a technician coming...a major break through), the electric company (to find out why my bill is so high), and the Kommune (just because I was on a roll). I also needed to find out where to pay the bills, since we don't have e-banking yet.
I paid the bills at the bank, for the princely sum of 20kr a piece. And decided to that it was time to learn to speak some Danish.
They call them "crash courses" but I think boot camp is a more apt description. These people (or the government who is paying for it) REALLY want you to learn the language when you sign up for one of these things. I checked out the web sites for several schools, looking for the one that wasn't on the government program. I didn't find it.
There are 8 modules. Each module is 6 to 8 weeks long. You attend classes for a minimum of 3 days per week, 3.5 hours a day. If you miss 2 classes you are dumped and have to start over. They group you by your level of education, so college grads study with college grads and so forth. There are state exams you have to pass in order to move on. Some of them have an entry interview. Okay, then...
One of the schools is offering a concentrated summer school class beginning and ending before I go home on holidays. It runs from June 27th to July 17th and you have to go 5 mornings a week. There are tests, exams, homework, and the thing I hated most in the high school....the language lab. My Dreamweaver class is blowing my mind, since my head is just not on school stuff right now, so if I decide to drop it, maybe I'll do this. I think I'm nuts.
Our stuff is finally being delivered this afternoon between twelve and two. John has been so involved in this, he says he might actually come home. Since he's paying through the nose to have someone bring it "in" the house, I think he wants to get his money's worth and make them move furniture and lay out the carpets. That's probably a good idea since I think there is a 200 pound piece of glass on this table and the same for the pillars it sits on. Also, for some reason he's expecting a lot of damage (he's such an optimist), so maybe that's bringing him home....or else he thinks I won't open the door to a group of strange men.
Unpacking and setting up is going to keep my busy for a while. I can't wait to use my good china again....I think blue is a great color for the kitchen, is it not?
I've got more of Lars' things to pile on the spare room bed for him to take out of here. I think I'll go and do that right now since he'll be by this afternoon. I found this huge blow torch in the shed the other day, and finally figured out why one would have such a thing. They use them to incinerate the weeds and grass that grow up between the patio stones. I think I'll ask him to torch some greenery and stay out of the pool today. I'm all out of clean towels and the driveway is beginning to look like no one lives here.
In the meantime, we've had one more "visitor". This one was on Monday night around ten o'clock. So maybe this wasn't a daytime while hubby's at work kind of operation after all. I'm thinking a gate at the end of the driveway might be in order. I don't think I need to see them walk all the way up to the house. Might as well turn them around before they get too excited, and in the winter it will give them a shorter walk back to their cars. I'm sure that kindness would be appreciated.
5 comments:
Karen:
I just love reading your blog. Hope to see you in Halifax
Good Ol' Sally, though I know you are not so old, nor so good.
Part 1 usually implies a Part 2 is coming. Hope the itch to write comes to you soon.
nc
Now you've done a new MP--time to update this, too!
Yikes, I just looked at the date up there! I've been trying to get a picture of this particular pig and I keep forgetting. But maybe today....school work has been kicking my butt this past couple of weeks, too, but I'm going to lay the blame on some poor helpless animal.
Karen - I continue to be in awe of your exotic life.
IU Gal
Post a Comment