I wrote this in June but didn't get around to posting it....better late than never, eh? This family history segue is being written so I can preserve what little I know about my father's life for future generations (the great grand kids might want to know this stuff, right?)....so mostly I'm just rambling and trying to get everything down and saved....albeit slowly...
In honor of Father's Day.....said with a little bit of a snicker....just coincidence is all.
Telling Patty about Jill was tougher than I thought it would be. Patty, Pat and I had made plans to go to the Truro Raceway the next day for the harness races, so I figured that would be the perfect opportunity to tell her. Just a nice afternoon playing the ponies and passing on some big family news. What I didn't know, until we were almost there, was that we were meeting some of their friends...so we didn't get any time alone all afternoon. Didn't win any money either. In the end, as they were dropping me off at the MacKays', I had to ask her if she was going to be home that night because I had something I wanted to talk about. I hate doing that to people...leaving them hanging, but that was all I could do at that point. If they were going out and I had to hang onto this for one extra hour, I was going to burst! Was she surprised? You betcha!! It was great...
Jill and her husband, Wayne, have a trailer they use in the summer near Kentville. We arranged to meet Jill there on Saturday. Were we nervous? Oh yeah...very...and there were unspoken thoughts as to whether or not the excitement would induce Patty to do a floppy, and she's be introduced as "sleepy-falling down Patty" right from the get go. But she did good. No flopping all afternoon.
Mom had wanted to come, but I figured her motivation was mostly curiosity and this was something I wanted to do more low key at that point. Kinda funny though.....when we stopped at the campground office to have them open the gate, the woman in there became so excited.....she told us we could take are car right in to the trailer site and skip the parking lot. It hadn't occurred to me that they'd roll out the red carpet for us. But, as we found out, Jill has many good friends there who knew that she had been searching for family. I guess everyone of them had a little investment in the outcome.
So, in we drove, as unseen trailer neighbors peeked from behind their blinds and curtains at "Jill's 2 sisters". We found her site number, and there she was, waiting on the front porch for us. As yappy as I tend to be when my fingers get to flying over the keyboard...there doesn't seem to be anyway I can really describe what it felt like to meet a new sister. For starters, I am incredibly awe inspired how much this whole meeting resulted from a few seemingly inconsequential circumstances and decisions. Really!....Something as trivial as a TV show that I only had half an interest in watching, could have kept me away from my laptop in the middle of the night...and who knows if this meeting would ever have taken place.
There were hugs and a few tears of happiness. There was an amazing family resemblance. And it all just felt right. The three of us sat on the deck of Jill's trailer and talked for the rest of the afternoon. We shared our stories and Jill told us how hard she had been looking for members of Jim's family and how she eventually gave up hope of ever doing so. She had been in touch with our cousins in New Brunswick who shared with her what they knew of our father, and had sent her some pictures. We ended up filling gaps for each other as we all had different knowledge from a different time.
One of the biggest surprises for me and Patty was to learn that we have another sister who is older than me. She was raised by her birth mother and husband as their own child, and was never told the truth about her birth father. The people who raised her are still alive, and I've managed to piece together their names....but we all think it's best just to leave them be.
There are rumors of other children, younger ones, but nothing really to go on. Back in 1972, I had a visit from someone who knew Jim out in Calgary. If I remember correctly, he said Jim was married and also that he had other children. He mentioned a 12 year old (that would have been Jill), a 4 year old, and a new baby.
In 1972, Jim married Linda Christie, but everyone I have been in contact with says there were no children in that marriage. Linda was killed in a single car accident in June of 1974 when she was only 29 years old. She had gone to pick up a puppy she was giving to Jim as a gift. As she was returning home with it, she drove off the road into the Fraser Canyon at China Bar near Hell's Gate in British Columbia....both she and the dog were killed. I can't find out any more about her, though. A couple of months ago I met some cousins in Maine who had some pictures of Jim and Linda....even a wedding photo. She was a petite and pretty blonde. One of the cousins in Maine was going to scan and send me digital copies of them but nothing yet. We haven't been in touch since our visit in Maine. Not sure why....just got busy with moving stuff I suppose.
So....anyway...back to our meeting Jill. The afternoon flew by and as I said, we mostly talked about what we knew about Jim and the McMullin family. We talked about our childhoods, and Jill told us how she found out that the man she thought was her "real" father actually was her adoptive one. She told us how upset her mother had been when she asked her about it, and how the subject was dropped between them for many years. We all felt that we were better off having been raised in the families we were, than in the one that could have been. It's hard to believe that I had another sister who was growing up a few hours drive away and had no idea. It also turns out that we like to do some of the same things...like quilt and write.
That day we met Jill's husband, Wayne. And the following Saturday, we drove back down again with Mom and Pat. Jill's son, David, and his wife, Erica, were there with their two adorable daughters....Emily and Peyton. Mom totally enjoyed herself and a good time was had by all. (How's that for a cliche?) But it was good and we did have a great time, and I was really looking forward to when John would be home again and he could come meet them, too.
In another post, I'll write down all that I know about Jim in one place....just to keep all that together. I've got the genealogy that Ralph Shaw did, and some more information on the McMullins that Jill has collected. I'll piece that together and add in what we know about Jim. I'm not sure how much more digging I'll do. I've been told that the person who would have the most first hand knowledge about Jim would be my uncle Roy's second wife Virginia. There's a good deal of history there....not sure if she'd even want to talk to me, but I did manage to find an address for her. Maybe someday I'll write her a letter....
In honor of Father's Day.....said with a little bit of a snicker....just coincidence is all.
Telling Patty about Jill was tougher than I thought it would be. Patty, Pat and I had made plans to go to the Truro Raceway the next day for the harness races, so I figured that would be the perfect opportunity to tell her. Just a nice afternoon playing the ponies and passing on some big family news. What I didn't know, until we were almost there, was that we were meeting some of their friends...so we didn't get any time alone all afternoon. Didn't win any money either. In the end, as they were dropping me off at the MacKays', I had to ask her if she was going to be home that night because I had something I wanted to talk about. I hate doing that to people...leaving them hanging, but that was all I could do at that point. If they were going out and I had to hang onto this for one extra hour, I was going to burst! Was she surprised? You betcha!! It was great...
Jill and her husband, Wayne, have a trailer they use in the summer near Kentville. We arranged to meet Jill there on Saturday. Were we nervous? Oh yeah...very...and there were unspoken thoughts as to whether or not the excitement would induce Patty to do a floppy, and she's be introduced as "sleepy-falling down Patty" right from the get go. But she did good. No flopping all afternoon.
Mom had wanted to come, but I figured her motivation was mostly curiosity and this was something I wanted to do more low key at that point. Kinda funny though.....when we stopped at the campground office to have them open the gate, the woman in there became so excited.....she told us we could take are car right in to the trailer site and skip the parking lot. It hadn't occurred to me that they'd roll out the red carpet for us. But, as we found out, Jill has many good friends there who knew that she had been searching for family. I guess everyone of them had a little investment in the outcome.
So, in we drove, as unseen trailer neighbors peeked from behind their blinds and curtains at "Jill's 2 sisters". We found her site number, and there she was, waiting on the front porch for us. As yappy as I tend to be when my fingers get to flying over the keyboard...there doesn't seem to be anyway I can really describe what it felt like to meet a new sister. For starters, I am incredibly awe inspired how much this whole meeting resulted from a few seemingly inconsequential circumstances and decisions. Really!....Something as trivial as a TV show that I only had half an interest in watching, could have kept me away from my laptop in the middle of the night...and who knows if this meeting would ever have taken place.
There were hugs and a few tears of happiness. There was an amazing family resemblance. And it all just felt right. The three of us sat on the deck of Jill's trailer and talked for the rest of the afternoon. We shared our stories and Jill told us how hard she had been looking for members of Jim's family and how she eventually gave up hope of ever doing so. She had been in touch with our cousins in New Brunswick who shared with her what they knew of our father, and had sent her some pictures. We ended up filling gaps for each other as we all had different knowledge from a different time.
One of the biggest surprises for me and Patty was to learn that we have another sister who is older than me. She was raised by her birth mother and husband as their own child, and was never told the truth about her birth father. The people who raised her are still alive, and I've managed to piece together their names....but we all think it's best just to leave them be.
There are rumors of other children, younger ones, but nothing really to go on. Back in 1972, I had a visit from someone who knew Jim out in Calgary. If I remember correctly, he said Jim was married and also that he had other children. He mentioned a 12 year old (that would have been Jill), a 4 year old, and a new baby.
In 1972, Jim married Linda Christie, but everyone I have been in contact with says there were no children in that marriage. Linda was killed in a single car accident in June of 1974 when she was only 29 years old. She had gone to pick up a puppy she was giving to Jim as a gift. As she was returning home with it, she drove off the road into the Fraser Canyon at China Bar near Hell's Gate in British Columbia....both she and the dog were killed. I can't find out any more about her, though. A couple of months ago I met some cousins in Maine who had some pictures of Jim and Linda....even a wedding photo. She was a petite and pretty blonde. One of the cousins in Maine was going to scan and send me digital copies of them but nothing yet. We haven't been in touch since our visit in Maine. Not sure why....just got busy with moving stuff I suppose.
So....anyway...back to our meeting Jill. The afternoon flew by and as I said, we mostly talked about what we knew about Jim and the McMullin family. We talked about our childhoods, and Jill told us how she found out that the man she thought was her "real" father actually was her adoptive one. She told us how upset her mother had been when she asked her about it, and how the subject was dropped between them for many years. We all felt that we were better off having been raised in the families we were, than in the one that could have been. It's hard to believe that I had another sister who was growing up a few hours drive away and had no idea. It also turns out that we like to do some of the same things...like quilt and write.
That day we met Jill's husband, Wayne. And the following Saturday, we drove back down again with Mom and Pat. Jill's son, David, and his wife, Erica, were there with their two adorable daughters....Emily and Peyton. Mom totally enjoyed herself and a good time was had by all. (How's that for a cliche?) But it was good and we did have a great time, and I was really looking forward to when John would be home again and he could come meet them, too.
In another post, I'll write down all that I know about Jim in one place....just to keep all that together. I've got the genealogy that Ralph Shaw did, and some more information on the McMullins that Jill has collected. I'll piece that together and add in what we know about Jim. I'm not sure how much more digging I'll do. I've been told that the person who would have the most first hand knowledge about Jim would be my uncle Roy's second wife Virginia. There's a good deal of history there....not sure if she'd even want to talk to me, but I did manage to find an address for her. Maybe someday I'll write her a letter....
1 comment:
Karen, I always enjoy this story. : ) Technology has certainly stepped up it's game on being able to search out relataives and ancestors. Whit has just begun contacting some long lost relatives on her dad's side and finding some really greatl people. I remember him always saying that he didn't think he had any... How sad! Anyway, loved reading this wonderful essay.
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