Thursday, May 29, 2008

Gazebo Master

I wonder if Azerbaijan has any military jets. I sure hope so because a half dozen or so flew over the house the other day in formation, did a big loop out over downtown then came back over the house again. If there aren't any military jets in the heavy artillery bag, then I'm curious who was dropping by for a look see. I'd bet, whoever it was has heard about this.



It isn't a base or a barracks, despite its size. It's just a gazebo....well, not JUST a gazebo. It's more like the granddaddy of all covered outdoor spaces. I might have to rename it a band shell. Ali tells me that you can cruise along the boulevard in the evening and hire musicians to play at your parties right on the spot. They'll climb into your car, and go right on home with you for a pre-negotiated price. If Ali is smart he'll take John and cruise the boulevard on my birthday. I think a little quartet action in honor of turning...um....yeah....that old......would complement those roses very nicely. Did I ever mention that the number of flowers in bouquets have to be odd for happy occasions and an even number is for sad ones? John learned that little tidbit when he bought Aynur some roses on the Azeri equivalent of Secretary's Day. Ali gave him a heads up and so he had to go in and slip one out of the bouquet on her desk while she went to search the office for a vase.

So, about the gazebo.....a perfect example of be careful what you wish for. The neighbors in the twin house have one, the twin house being the identical but mirror image house that faces us....we have the same landlord. I saw their gazebo when we looked at this place back in October, and asked if we could have one, too. The landlord agreed but when John moved in here in December, only the stone foundation was in place. The landlord explained that it was too cold at the time to send master to build our gazebo. He would do it in the spring. Fair enough, no need for a gazebo in January or February anyway. Gazebo master turned up in early April and so began the framing of my summer palace, the place I would barbecue week-long wine marinated, mallet-pounded, flat slabs of cow before it got too hot to be outside without air conditioning. The place where we could wile away summer evenings before my next trip back to Nova Scotia where the black flies make it impossible to sit outside after sundown.



Well, now it's almost June and the promised completion date of April 30th has come and gone. It's a good thing I didn't start any cow slabs soaking in anticipation. Master's been building this thing alone and by hand. He has notched each piece of lumber with his little hatchet. He's got his table saw set up in the vacant lot next door. He doesn't have a plug on the end of his table saw cord, so he's stripped the insulation off its end to expose the bare wires which he sticks into a socket in my little mechanical house.....which is close to the main electrical panel and the main gas line. He's afraid of my dog....way more than he is of the building inspector. Oh...wait....I don't think there is a building inspector. Duh!

This isn't the dog he's that he worries about. This is the poor mangy cur from a few blogs back. Her pups are gone...somewhere.....and she's now living alone in the vacant lot among the building materials and construction debris. I call this picture "Her Master's Voice."



I'm getting pretty weary of living in a construction zone. Master's been showing up here and there, doing a little work, then disappearing for a few days. He leaves his tools and debris all over the side yard of the house. John hammers the big spiky nails out of the boards he leaves laying around on the grass. This whole gazebo thing is getting old and I wish I had never asked for it in the first place. Maybe gazebo master is just like our contractor for the basement renovation in Newfoundland and has three other jobs on the go in addition to ours. John's theory is that he isn't getting paid. When he gets paid, he shows up. When he doesn't, he stays home. I know I have seen him padding about the neighborhood in his construction slippers every now and again, and wondered why he wasn't over at my place pounding some boards. I'm beginning to think John is right and it's time to go after the landlord to get this thing finished. I think he is expecting the next six months rent at the end of the week. I'd call that decent leverage. Whatever the reason he hasn't finished this thing yet, it just goes to show you that getting a construction job done even close to on time is universal...one of the commonalities of all mankind. There should be some basis for world peace there. Someone just has to think up the right angle.

And speaking of universal, while I was sitting here yesterday contemplating the fact that I grew up believing mig jets flying overhead were a very bad "duck & cover" kind of thing, I heard chanting coming from outside my window. Lots of chanting that began to get louder and closer. I got up and looked out the window in time to see a funeral procession making its way down my dusty little road on foot. At the beginning were the pall bearers carrying a pallet on their shoulders. A body on the pallet was wrapped in a gold colored tapestry shroud. I called Carolyn to come see and we stood back from the window, out of sight, and watched....about two hundred men, but not one woman, make their way past our house. Carolyn asked me does who shows up if a woman dies? I didn't have the answer to that one.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Finland Finland Finland

That's the country for me.....How strange, that when the kid and I got to the Air Canada check-in counter to drop off our bags there were 3 strapping guys in light blue and white hockey jerseys ahead of us in line....and when they turned around, emblazoned across each of their chests was "Finland." Doesn't matter if they were in Halifax for the international hockey championship. It made me kind of nostalgic for New York City, the end of Clay's run in Spamalot, and well, I just wanted to break out in some sort of fish schlapping song. The kid said she'd harmonize as long as I didn't actually schlap her with a fish (as if I would ever schlap her in the first place). What an auspicious start for the trip back here to Baku. That was on the night of the 12th, about 9:30. At 2:00 AM on the 14th we landed in Baku along with a plane load of people from Scotland returning for their rotations. Not a Fin in sight.

John and Ali were waiting for us to get through the immigration lines....Ali with the usual bottles of water in to give us as we came through the sliding glass doors. He is the coolest of dudes, seriously! I'm glad I went hunting for those Cadbury Mini-Eggs he likes so much when I got home. They weren't easy to find, a week past Easter, but eventually some turned up at Joe's Corner Store on Main Avenue.

I've been back for 2 weeks, and I'm rethinking what I was previously thinking about 6 weeks being too much time to be away. Maybe 6 weeks isn't so long after all. But....I have to add a proviso....a good dose of Baku Belly can make anyone want to run for the hills (as well as the bathroom). I swear from now on I am only eating local food. Something gets lost in translation when local meets western. Going back over what I ate in the last few days, there was only one difference in what I had and the rest of the family didn't....I knew I should have gotten the double cheeseburger like everyone else.....but no.....I had to have that other murderous thing. Luckily there were 3 Cipro left in the bottle and when that last one is gone at 3PM this afternoon, someone is going to have to make a trip down to the SOS clinic to reload. Must always have Cipro in the cupboard.

Speaking of local food, the whole gang from the office had dinner, last Sunday, at an Azeri restaurant where we had a choice of dining in an outside hut, an inside hut, or in the grand hall. We started in an outside hut but figured it would later get too cold and moved inside to the Grand Hall. Inside, there would be live entertainment and dancing beginning at 8:00. The food was delicious and the service incredible.....and hilarious....at the same time. The food was presented in serving dishes on the table, just like a big family dinner back home, but picking up the dishes to serve yourself is a no-no. Just so much as reach for a dish and a waiter magically appears gently removes it from your hand and spoons what you want onto your plate. The same goes for the drinks. There was an assortment of juices and water laid out at one end of the table and the waiters were continually topping us up.....even with the Miller Genuine Draft. I have no idea what most of what was in these little serving dishes but it tasted fresh and pretty darn good.

It was a very fancy place that also caters to weddings. The kid is still trying to figure out the logistics of a wedding dress and this.....


Yes, that's a squat toilet. I somehow think pants and the squat toilet might be tougher, especially without practice. The kid figured it out when she just couldn't hold it anymore thanks to the non-stop flow of the MGD. I totally stopped the beer when this situation was first reported. But I have been wondering, ever since, if bathroom duty falls to the maid of honor or the mother of the bride.