Famous Last Words

** This afternoon I got the word to pack up we're getting out. The company is sending out a letter to inform the landlord we are vacating. One more night then it's off to a hotel. Who suggested we get one of those black light things that show you where the splatters are? That could have waited till we were gone, couldn't it?**

We're still here.

John came home from work that day and told me that he had arranged another meeting with the landlord, here at the house. He had prepared a list of "demands". Things that had to be done in order for us stay. But...but....but....

Well, he thought that if the guy couldn't, or wouldn't, agree to all the amendments to the lease agreement, then it would be a lot easier to get out of it. I was still at the "but.....but" stage when the landlord showed up at the door. I thought the poor fellow was going to cry when John handed him his 2 page list of "amendments". It asked for new sofas and beds, carpets and curtains, we wanted pretty much all of the soft goods in the house replaced. John figured there was no way this guy could manage it all, and he was right. He couldn't. Except, that which had seemed so easy when he typed it up at the office, wasn't so easy when the man with the holes in his socks was sitting across the dining room table.

I prefer "arms length" transactions myself.

So.....there we were. Left with enough pregnant pauses in the conversation to give a person heartburn. I made some lame comment like "The new washer and dryer work good!" So, lame I tried to make an exit on the grounds of having ironing to do. John shot me the hairy eyeball, so I remained seated, and silent, with my hands in my lap.

Somehow, at the end of it all, we had agreed to let the company sublet it to someone else....which is what was supposed to happen when we drove over yonder without looking back. By now of course the back yard rhododendrons are in full bloom and the pool guy has been here twice. It's looking mighty fine out there.


John then says that he's pretty sure that the company will replace all the furniture in the house if we want to stay in it. Doing that will save them money in the long run, and they'd most likely have to furnish the next place anyway. He asks and they agree.

Well, that's sort of back to square one, and I've put several days distance between me and my gentleman caller. I think I can do it. John is dangling an all day shopping trip to IKEA with someone else's money. He is offering Flip This House, Trading Spaces, and While You Were Out all rolled into one. I mull it over and tell him if he tosses in an Extreme Home Makeover we've got a deal. I feel like I've spiraled right from my living room into HGTV.

The very next day we were out at IKEA (which is really pronounced EE-KAY-AH...well whaddya know?) and I now have new sofas, beds, curtains, plus various and sundry odds, and ends, to make it all come together, There is also beautiful a stack of precious "do-it-yourself" furniture in boxes.

I also have a husband who went out of town for four days. My time alone will be the true comfort test.

As far as I know, right now, it looks like we're staying in this house. I guess that's a good thing. We definitely like the house, the pool is a nice bonus, and so is the beautiful yard. When we went to the bank to open our account last week, we couldn't order our bank cards because we weren't sure of our permanent address, I couldn't get my tax ID number without it either. Our things have arrived from Baku and the shipper is waiting to deliver them. It was time to make a decision and stick with it, so we did, and I got to decorate a whole house all at once. I come so cheap.

The cleaners will be here in the morning, bright and early. John hired a global company that mostly does offices and cafeterias. They are charging what I consider to be an astronomical sum per hour but....heck....I may come cheap but I'm worth it.

The landlord will be here in the afternoon to collect his furniture and the rest of his belongings. There are a couple of items, I discovered over the last couple of days, that I'm not returning to him. While cleaning up for the cleaners (yes....I know....) I happened to open the night table drawer....thinking I would sweep the odd bits of junk John had left on top of it into the drawer to clear the top. In the drawer was a brand new bottle of Tums, two phone chargers, and a button.....all John's. And leave it to a guy just to open the door and dump his stuff in it without looking. Rolling around at the back of the drawer were these.....

Exhibit A...



Exhibit B...



Both have gone into the garbage along with one unopened bottle of Tums, 2 cellphone chargers, and a button.

Not that these kinds of things are an issue anymore....thanks to my new outfit.


I'm positvely thrilled it comes in more than just white, and man, this thing sure hides a lot of excess blubber! The only thing nasty in here are the potato chip crumbs.

Anyway, yesterday as I was sitting here pecking out another list for IKEA shopping I caught some movement in the driveway out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at the dining room window and there was a thirty-ish man with blond curly hair reading the sign on the front door. He finished reading and was gone in a few seconds.


Literally translated it says "Business closed. Do not ring the doorbell. New owner lives here." I think I will revise it with Google translate. To say "New Owner, Dismemberment Kennels, Breeders of Champion Pit Bulls". I'll make it all cute and fancy with little paw prints and such. I hope that won't deter the nice boys from coming up the driveway.



**That heart in the first picture? Just out for a drive in the countryside a few kilometers from the house, and there it was hanging on the end of somebody's private road. Cracked me up....but then I began to wonder...why is there a heart at the end of the driveway to a farm? It doesn't say I Love Horses or Love Spoken Here. There's just a blank red heart.....Hmmph! Mine's much fancier!**

My First Day in Denmark......Sounds Boring But Stick It Out

Whew! Finally here! My flights were uneventful and on time. All of my luggage made it…wheels, handles and tags intact. My mood was pretty good thanks to “podding” across the Atlantic in one of those first class seats that go flat for sleeping. As an added bonus, a chatty Mary Walsh was a couple of pods behind me and Air Canada gave us some nice swag.

John picked me up at the airport; we got all of the bags into the back of the little tin can Toyota he’s rented……it’s smaller than a Yaris! He told me the automatic Audi would take 12 weeks to get here, so now we have to decide whether we’re going to take it in a stick, or look for something else. This’ll make a good job for the weekend. We drove straight to the house to drop off the luggage before dinner and to have a look around.

The landlord has been by to collect some of his belongings. When John moved in last Monday, the house was still full of his family’s personal things. There were at least a dozen statues of Buddha. The drawers in the buffet were full of odds and ends. There were dishes in the dishwasher. The vacuum cleaner was plugged in but no one had cleaned. All of the bedding was still here. Most of the bedding is still here. About 95% of the Buddha’s are gone. There is still a giant size paper lei tacked to the dining room wall and a dozen or so dusty artificial flower arrangements. There is a lot of stuff that needs to be taken out, and a lot of stuff that still needs to be done. The heaters don’t work…….neither do the washer and dryer, but a new set is to be delivered next Tuesday. The arms of the white sofa are nasty (*flips through the IKEA catalog*). Do they sell fireplace grates, carpet shampooers, and brooms, too?

This morning, the first thing I saw when I got out of bed was a black cat strolling along the side of the pool. I’m really not superstitious, but……..wouldn’t you know it? The internet was out. I couldn’t find John’s phone number to let him know I was going to be off line all day with my sanity hanging by a thread, so I decided to clean the landlord’s junk out of the kitchen to pass the time. I stayed in my best flannel nightgown and wore my navy quilted jacket to keep me warm in the freezing kitchen. I complemented my ensemble with a lovely worn pair of Sherpa fleece slippers and some plaid reading glasses……all the better to see the dirt. I certainly wasn’t expecting a gentleman caller at 9:15. But then I guess the gentleman caller wasn’t exactly expecting me either. Maybe he got a bigger shock than I did…..if that’s possible.

Poor man, he was expecting a young Thai hottie and he got a jet lagged earth mother instead.

When the doorbell rang, my first thought was not to answer it, which is what I mostly did in Baku. Talking to someone through the gate phone, there, was a waste of time and the energy needed to do the three flights of stairs to get down to the door phone. Telemarketing in Baku is nonexistent but door to door peddling is still big. I was never keen to buy household cleaners that come in old Pepsi bottles…..though I do believe all claims that said product would eat the grime of anything it came into contact with…..easily.

This time I decided to be friendly, turn over a new leaf, and despite looking a little bit odd and eccentric, I went to the door. Through the glass I could see a nice looking man, somewhere in his 40’s, I think….I opened the door and he sort of chuckled. I gave him the quizzical eyebrow…. (not what he came for)….

”Yes?”, says I.

“I guess you’re new here,” he replies in heavily accented English.

“We moved in last night.”

“Oh,” he says…….“I was looking for the ladies.” (Which he obviously hasn’t found)

“Ladies?”......another quizzical eyebrow.

“Yes, there were some very nice ladies here.”

“Ladies???..... Here???”.... (Quizzical eyebrow is replaced with a deeply furrowed one.)

“Oh, yes, VERY NICE ladies.” (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

He then said that this was a place for "bol".... but he didn't know the English word for it

“Ladies? Did these happen to be Thai ladies by any chance?" (The wife of the landlord is Thai.)

“Yes, VERY NICE ladies. I'm a very good customer.”

“Oh. I see.” (Unfortunately, I think I really DO see.)

“How long are you leasing for?”

“Um……Not as long as I planned, actually.”

“Well, I'm sure you will meet many more like me." (Chuckles)

“Maybe you can make a little money while you are here.” (Shrugs)

“But you might want to take that heart off the door if you don’t.” (Points)

“Huh???” (Follows finger, sees shiny red glass heart hanging by a string on the front door and removes it.) “Thanks.”

“Bye”

“Bye” (Shuts and locks door, shuts inside door, catches a glimpse of self in the mirror…..finds John’s new phone number in less than 10 seconds.)

I honestly didn’t know where to begin telling John about what had just happened. I didn’t want to freak him out and have him think I was hurt or anything, but it definitely started as one of those phone calls where the recipient feels the need to steal themselves for a blow. I tried to laugh, which I think only made me sound hysterical (which to my credit I wasn’t), so I ended up making an impossible riddle about what would be the deal breaker on this house. Considering we’d been dealing with left over dirt, third party clutter, and non-working heaters, I’m sure John expected to hear that the roof was leaking. So I had to repeat “We are living in a brothel”…….twice….maybe three times. I told him about the man at the door. I started to cry and laugh all at the same time again. Oh...I think that IS hysterical. But….geez….a funny story is a funny story…..

Until the “john” who has issues with his mother shows up and wants to disembowel you.

I was just gobsmacked that the nice young man who we rented from was a pimp. John thought it through a bit more and concluded that the nice young man probably had no idea what was going on in his house when he wasn’t home. I guess the red heart on the door was a “Coast is Clear – Open for Business” code…..buddy did tell me to take it off.

The heart that is.

John set up a meeting at our house for 5 PM and booked the hotel I demanded he book. He talked to the lawyer at work that had drawn up and signed our lease. I made sure all of the blinds were drawn at the front of the house and settled in for the day at the dining room table. Then I thought maybe John should just call this guy to tell him over the phone that we were getting outta Dodge….forget the face to face. Like…..how do you tell someone that his wife’s been turning tricks in their home behind his back? I think the phone is as good a way as any….so John called him.

I’m not sure if that was the best thing to do, after all, since I didn’t get to see the look on his face and he came to the meeting with his own “logical explanation”. Apparently, his “girl” had a massage business that she conducted out of the house but she had closed it 6 months ago because business was bad.

Uh, huh….sure she did.

I did get the impression that the poor sap believed it when he said it was “massage only, not for sex.” He said he had papers from the government to prove that there was such a business and that it was closed. So here we sat…..the three of us, around the dining room table. I’m retelling my morning experience wondering if it’s going to sink in about his wife. He isn’t biting. He didn’t seem as surprised as I would think he would be if someone told me the same thing was going on in my household. John thinks it was just beyond his comprehension. I’m still not sure. He stands to lose the tenant he has in the house he tried to rent for 4 months. He seems to need money and there were holes in the toes of both of his socks.

The little “missus” seems too busy to take care of her own man.

By the end of an hour, John and I are both reconsidering. I know John feels terribly sorry for the guy and I’m not so sure we can get out of the lease. Well, if the company can get out of it, since they signed it, and pay the rent….the legal department wasn’t sure (since prostitution is legal in Denmark)....and I have no proof that there was even a guy at my door. (The next one will pose for a photo.) We decide to stay one more night and think it over.

On Friday things seem to look better. No one comes to the door and I’m just looking forward to dinner out and a visit to IKEA. Sometimes the ability to ignore the bad stuff comes in handy. My head is trying to accept the situation and it's doing a decent job of it. Every once in a while I get the heebie-jeebies. Today my gut was winning and I've found myself online looking at the housing sites again. John drew up a list of things we want done....starting with replacing the furniture and a thorough 3rd party cleaning of the house. I'm not sure there is enough Clorox in all of Scandinavia, even if the landlord does agree to it.

He swore up and down that his wife and her son had no trouble from any of the customers who came for a "massage". Everyone was very nice about it.....just like the ladies, I guess. Everyone is very nice and civilized in Denmark, are they not? John and I find ourselves catching glimpses and laughing. Then I start to cry a little bit....because deep down I probably am hysterical, and I know he is going on a business trip to Baku in a week.

And why is my dog in Canada?

Since the Danes don't allow people to shop on Sundays for anything but cars, we went car shopping and picked out a Volkswagon Golf....the Audi A3 had only one cup holder in the front. Talk about your deal breakers. We loved the car but one cup holder just wasn't going to cut it.

On the way home from car shopping, we see one of our next door neighbors for the first time. The gentleman is struggling to get his electric scooter up into his driveway. It's obvious he's had a stroke sometime ago, and with his one good hand, he can't seem to budge the scooter. John parks the car in our driveway and goes over to help. I'm not sure whether the neighbor was so grateful for the help that he felt a return favor was in order but......he told John that the "very nice ladies" who lived there before us were "selling sex." John hadn't even asked him if he knew the last people. John did ask him how long ago they had stopped. He was told about a month ago. That's when the lot of them left the house and went on holiday to Bangkok. Hookers from Bangkok......geez...

We sort of remembered now that there was a car load of young women who drove out of the driveway on one of the afternoons we went to look at the house. I've also remembered that the bedding on the bed on the master bedroom was different each time we went to the house...and different again from the bedding in the photo of it on the web. I need to remember that there is a reason for most weird stuff. Next time....no weird stuff will go unexplained.

I really think, if there is any way at all I am getting out of here. John likes the house but will go if I'm not comfortable. If I am being completely honest with myself, I don't think I am....no matter how funny this is. It will be just as funny twenty years from now whether I'm here for 2 more days or 2 years.

On Friday, the landlord came by with a big sign for the front door which says, in Danish, "Business closed" Do not ring the door bell. There is a new person here." He said if someone rings the bell they are stupid.

Ummmm...yeah....

**This morning I finally got around to running a google translate on "bol". I took a one more stab at the spelling, but "bolle" from Danish to English - try it and see what comes up.**

** This afternoon I got the word to pack up we're getting out. The company is sending out a letter to inform the landlord we are vacating. One more night then it's off to a hotel. Who suggested we get one of those black light things that show you where the splatters are? That could have waited till we were gone, couldn't it?**

Missing The Barker Of Baku

It seems so quiet around here without him. Kenai’s spending some time in the Annapolis Valley, back in Nova Scotia. He has to wait four months before he can come to Denmark. It’s tough knowing I’m not even going to see him until I get home again in July, and tougher thinking he’s probably wondering what in the heck he did that made me send him off to doggie vacation this long. I think after a week dogs begin to think of it less as a vacation and more as a time out.

Mom and I went down to see him a few times before I left for Denmark and he seemed to be fine, adjusting well to his new surroundings.


He’s got a nice little room with a doggie door to his run, and it’s up to him whether he wants to be inside or go out.


The boarding facility has large fenced yards and the dogs are let out in compatible groups to spend as much time as they like outside. I’m told Kenai likes to spend all of his time outside. I know when I was visiting, it was tough to get him to come in…even when I was leaving. He really does seem quite content.


All of the dogs, that are up to it, get walks in the woods every day. Kenai has been on some short ones until he gets some weight off and his arthritis lessens. I didn’t see any improvement in the stiffness in his back while I was there, but he does look like he’s lost some weight. He turned into a bit of a chunk in Baku and now he’s on diet dog food and special treats with portion control. Being in the care of a stranger is probably good for his weight loss since there is no John there to hand him toast crusts every morning. By August he should be positively svelte. If he is, I’m checking into his room for a few months.

There aren’t a lot of dogs at the place he is staying. It’s a new business with doggie day care, overnight boarding and a bark park where people can take their dogs to run off leash. So far Kenai’s made a friend of the owner’s black lab and has tried to eat a young Springer Spaniel that got a little bit too close and rambunctious. I took him two Walmart happy face soccer balls, one for inside and one for out. He was pretty excited to see those.

I can check up on him with phone calls and email. I’ve arranged a file for him at a nearby vet so he can get any care he needs and be taken there for his rabies titer on the 25th. John called the Danish Animal Import Enforcement people to see if there was a chance of getting him in earlier, but with the EU regulations, dispensations are no longer possible. So…..4 months it is. Poor guy!

As bad as I feel about leaving him like this, I am glad he is happy and well cared for. Most of the time I was there he spent rolling on his back in the grass. He didn’t even stand up when I left. He just sat there like this looking at me. Who knows…maybe he didn’t think I was worth the effort of getting up. He does look a little cheesed in this one, doesn’t he?

Sally Gets A Beemer

Well, almost.....I got an email from John the other day that contained links to our 4 choices of autos for Denmark. Unlike the Swedes to the north, and the Germans to the south, the bicycle loving Danes don't make cars...so this list of lease options included a Peugeot from France, an Altea from Spain (new one on me), and of course a pair of Germans...a BMW and an Audi. And to think.....I asked John (who says we can't afford to live in Europe) if he thought we might be lucky enough to get a Golf!

Sally's steel loving, road-hugging heart purred a little louder and shifted into third. Bless his heart. First on the list was the BMW 1-series 2009 116d Advantage Sportwagon. Next was the Audi A3 Sportback Attraction 1,4 TFSI 125HP 6G.....and then those other two. No offense to the French and the Spanish intended.

John asked me which one I wanted. I provided an appropriate response in the form of "DUH!"

But I knew he had sent me these links so I'd do the research. I think he thinks I like doing that sort of thing, and he's right, sometimes I do. But I'm not fond of research that doesn't give me the answers I want....especially when I have a well rooted expectation of the answers I'm going to get. BMW's are great cars, are they not? What auto reviewer is going to disagree with that? Well, I can't say any reviewers dissed the little Beemer. They praised its handling. They loved how fun it was to drive, how responsive and peppy it was....how wonderful the steering. Wonderful steering because the BMW Series 1 has rear wheel drive! Crap! I read that it sucks in the snow and the back seat is cramped....very cramped. But mostly it sucks in the snow. And it snows in Denmark. So close and yet so far......*sigh*

There was to be no blue& white pinwheel in Sally's (immediate) future, and all that talk about driving pleasure and exhilaration was a stake to the heart, just a stake through the heart. Ouch!

Even the Audi looks doubtful at this point. I read that some of them only have one cup holder in the front seat.....way to go Germany!

Gunman Kills 12 In Baku

I had written something completely different to post today. That was before I read this morning's paper and read about this. I did some digging into the early reports and it was thought to be a possible terrorist attack but it wasn't. Well, not a political one anyway. This really is a shock, if you take away all the car honking, Baku is a very peaceful kind of place.

Gunman Kills 12 at Azerbaijan State Oil University

Deaths in Azeri University Shooting

There's a video with that second link.....it would probably have been edited for American television. Maybe...

I wonder how many people Ali will have known since he seems to know everybody. What a sad, sad, thing.....and I know there are nut jobs everywhere....but still.

John left Baku early this morning for Copenhagen, so the office is closed and we are officially out of there. The lease on the house was up yesterday, too. The title of my last blog is creeping me out....I am not prescient. Maybe.

En Route

Getting back into the swing of school work is proving to be tougher than I thought. I've let the work on the major assignment of the semester go in lieu of preparing and executing the move out of Baku. So, here I am, up in Halifax, staring at a blank WORD document and wondering where I left off a few weeks ago. It's 10:30 at night and no one can be expected to begin ANYTHING at 10:30 at night....and I keep fiddling around with this post.

Kenai is now up at the boarding place which is to be his home away from home for the next 4 months. I am putting it out of my mind. I hate thinking about how long he's going to be there, but it seemed like a great place for him on our two visits last week. Tomorrow, I'll call and check on how he's doing. Rob is on vacation this week, so on Friday (because I HAVE to get this project passed in by Thursday) we'll go up and hang out with him for a while. I am surrounded by cats here, and I miss him a lot.

John got his ticket out of Baku for Tuesday and the movers tell us that our things will be in Denmark in two weeks. That'll be something if it happens! The route our things are taking appeared on an insurance document that appeared in my inbox the other day.....Azerbaijan, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Germany, then Denmark. John doesn't think we need the supplemental insurance that this policy provides. It only covers loss by break and enter into the container...."mysterious disappearance" is not covered. Neither is damage due to leakage, breakage, and other perils. Kamran, the moving company rep insists that they have never broken anything, so insurance is not required. He and John have come to an agreement. If there is no breakage, John will by Kamran dinner when he returns to Baku next month. If there is breakage, Kamran buys dinner and cuts us a check.

I finally got a copy of our inventory and it looks to be in order....except that we have several jalousies, parts of jalousies, some bijuteys, and even some shits. I'm not going to think too hard on what those might actually be.....

So, here I am in Halifax. No trip back home would be complete without a few visits to Laurie's Complete Automotive. Laurie is hitting the jackpot off us this week. The first visit will be with Carolyn on Tuesday. She ran out of gas on the Circumferential....couldn't get the car started without putting some gas in the carburetor, but we didn't know that. I'm not sure what Laurie charged her to get it running but the tow truck was $70. Laurie was busy so it took a couple of days for him to look at it and concur that the tank was bone dry.

Wednesday afternoon her wheel bearing went....and so it goes...

Trips home always cost, on average, $2,000 in the first week. If you can survive that, the rest is easy.

Tick Tock

Good Lord! It's 7:30 AM. I don't get up at 7:30! I don't go to bed until two most nights, so this is definitely not enough sleep. I must be restless because of my impending exit from Baku. I am terrified of forgetting to do something for the dog, and I am worried about an eleven year old dog on a 27 hour trip. I know I am. I know I woke up thinking about the moving crew boss trying to finger my Science degree out of its tube before he let it passed muster. That might have been my first withering look delivered that day. It worked and he let it be....whew! now I can get the Mona Lisa, which is rolled up with it, safely out of the country. I'll show him.

Doesn't look like sunshine today, but it's early. Maybe the sun isn't that much of an early riser in Baku, either. Nice blue skies would be nice for picture taking today....if we get everything else done that is. We're joining some friends for dinner, so if I want night shots of the Turkish mosque and martyr's alley, it will have to be tomorrow.

Yesterday, things got a little testy when John and Ali didn't show up for our day on the town until 7:00 PM....I'm not sure if it was the time or the cheery Where do you need to go? that got me the most. By this point what I really needed the most (and got) was a latte. I know workaholics never call when they're going to be late, but still....it's not like he doesn't have people.

The rest of the night was a total waste. Well, not a total waste....I got my highest score ever on one of those Facebook word games. That's almost as good as a set of crystal tea glasses. Oh, and I also learned that Ali is more afraid of his boss's wife than he is of his boss.

Last night while John was in Baku Roasting waiting our lattes, Ali (probably sensing my mood at being stood up) volunteered to spend all of today driving me where ever I wanted to go. He elaborated..take pictures, get tea set, certificates, Nards board, etc etc etc. All day, just you and me. He made a slip. He said while John was at the office, we could go every where. Whoa! Back up there, Jack! Where's John going to be tomorrow? John who couldn't take Easter Monday off because he was taking Thursday and Friday off for the move? The John who was dressed in his work clothes and tip-toeing out of the room when I peeked out from beneath the covers yesterday morning? Are you telling me he's going to work in the morning? He never goes in on Saturday. Jack backed way up and said no more.

Over dinner, I poised my evil eyebrow and asked John if it was true he was going to work the next day. Well, um....yeah, it was true. And......he said, Ali has something to finish, too.

Well, said I, Ali told me he was spending the whole day with me tomorrow. He thought it was funny and said that Ali was a really smart guy. I thought it was a perfect example of the Azeri way of telling you exactly what you want to hear, whether they can deliver or not. He even made it a promise. Cracks me up!

By the time the instant coffee was served after dinner, John had decided he was shipping equipment to the UK and not to Russia, which is a fraction of the work and they could get it done on Monday. Whew! We have today for shopping.

I can't believe we are going back to the Airport Bazaar this morning! Half of it is closed but the carpet guy we last purchased from is still there. He really wants us to by the smaller version of the one we bought the other day....and he needs to give us the receipt for the one we just bought. If I could just get to one of the shops deeper into the bazaar without getting run over by a Lada or choking on fumes, I could get my crystal glass tea set, and my pashminas.

I can't believe Ali set this meeting up with the carpet guy for the Airport Bazaar. The last time we were there on a weekend (necessitated by the fact that John couldn't take Easter Monday off), Ali told us how he and his brother offer to pay their mother not to go to the Airport Bazaar when the subject comes up. No one in the family will take her, her says. And, honestly, it is an absolute zoo on the weekend. To break out of traffic stalls, cars drive up on the sidewalk. The wind embeds dirt in your eyeballs and the car exhaust takes years off your life.

But, there are thousands and thousands of pairs of ten dollar shoes, and enough five dollar pashminas for every girl in New York. There is everything you can imagine in this place from house dresses to lawn furniture to building supplies. I think there are a million flip flops and no exit signs.


So much polypropylene, including the roof in some places. Is that a cigarette, I see in that man's mouth.

Maybe it is safer dodging Lada's on the sidewalk.

But...but....but....

I need a frock!


Or two....


And John needs a new suit...