The End of A Beautiful Long Weekend

There isn't much to say about the weather this past weekend, other than it was perfect. We're getting a bonus on the weather today, a nice repeat of the last three days. It's so nice in the backyard. I was compelled to go out and water the plants....including the two new frothy purple ones I bought in Hillerod on Saturday.

I've figured out how to find the shopping places here. When the flyers come each week and I program the addresses into the GPS to save them. At first it was a little tough to find stores because they tend to be tucked away in the towns behind trees, 7-11's, and castles. But a lot of them are bunched together on the same streets, so when you find one, it's like hitting the jackpot. A little driving around the surrounding streets will usually produce more places.....except by the time you find them, they are most likely closed. I remember when I was a kid that some stores closed at 1:00 on Saturdays, until the advent of the mall changed all that. It's still that way here. If you want to buy flooring, light fixtures, pool equipment, custom curtains, or something from a smaller shop, get out of the house and on the road early.

We hit a mother-lode in Hillerod. I had saved something called Sylvan which looked sort of Home Depot-like from its flyer. And it was definitely like a Home Depot, in  a Canadian Tire or large Ace Home Hardware size. Now, here's an oddity....The purpose of this trip (besides getting flip flops) was to get some paint sample chips to bring home and compare with what was already on the doors and trim. But they don't have those here....not in any of the Home Depot like places that sold paint. Maybe the shops that exclusively sell paint do, but seriously, how can you coordinate paint and your stuff without the benefit of a handful of paint chips. Maybe that explains all the white walls.

To think, I left my Pittsburgh Paints fan book in storage in Houston! Next weekend we'll get up and out of here in time to catch the paint store before it closes. It's probably wise to buy paint from the farver (paint) store. I think with our language issues, someone who knows paint might understand me better.

I'm not sure how many of these stores were bunched together near the Sylvan but I think we visited at least four of them, and I know we skipped one because the wee little Toyota was getting pretty full. We made a pretty good haul from Hillerod on Saturday. We got two more pillows, two frothy purple plants, some groceries, a hose reel, some metal hangers for the rolling wardrobe bag, and this....

John is now completely and utterly at home now that he has his barbecue. It's been quite a charcoal drought since he hasn't had one since 2004. Every meal so far has been cooked on this little gem. Not only was it cheap (about $55), it came with a chimney starter, an apron, an oven mitt, and all the utensils seen here. Hmmmm.....I'm not sure that the length of that apron does anything for him....gosh. He has a pair of really long legs but in this get up he resembles a well hung garden gnome.


Yep! One of the most useful tools on a man is a good pair of barbecue tongs. I wonder why they don't come pre-installed from the factory.

I still have some work to do on the "utterly at home" thing. The shipping delays aren't helping, and yesterday, gentleman caller number 3 showed up as John and I were having breakfast. I'm sure glad all of them so far can read. I saw him coming, past the kitchen window, pausing by the dining room one, I jabbed my cereal spoon at John, and we both watched as customer #3 read the door, and then left.

I then proposed an experiment to John. Since this Friday coming is a holiday, why don't we put the red heart back on the door, remove the sign, and see how many customers actually do turn up during the run of the day. I promised him I wouldn't video tape it for Dateline or anything like that. I don't think he chuckled in the affirmative. I'm also thinking of making a new sign for the door, something a little more colorful and catchy. I'm thinking "No Sex Please, We're British" would be a good one. So what if we're not exactly British.....our ancestors were.

Anyway, all this checking out the stores in Hillerod meant we missed the store with the flip flops by an hour. They closed at 3 o'clock! Which isn't bad I suppose, my broom store had closed at one, so I missed that by twenty minutes. I caved and bought a regular broom and dustpan. The dustpan is now ruined because we used it to prop open a window and rolled the rubber bit so out of shape it doesn't lay flat on the floor now. I told John it wasn't a good idea to let me around household appliances, no matter how simple the operation.


There is still no word on when our things are going to be delivered. Apparently it was the Baku office who shut the delivery down.....essentially because the guy there didn't bother to check the bank to see that his transfer was posted to his account.

Tomorrow I'll drop into the Kommune office to get help with my driver's license conversion. I'm hoping I can plead globe trotting as an indication of no intention to permanently immigrate to Denmark. I also need to find out if I can get my Texas license returned to me for the 7 weeks I'm going to be in Canada this summer. According to the very expensive driving school, I can....but I want to confirm this with the Kommune before I slap down my thousand-plus bucks (be still my heart!) for driving lessons I don't remotely need. If I can't get the license back, then the Danish driving lessons can wait. Now that I'm registered with the "state", the clock has begun to tick on my ability to drive over here. I've talked to some people, here from the US, who have just blown it off as being too onerous an undertaking. I'll do it. But I have to get the logistics figured out first.

Because I want to drive this.


John isn't ever going to read this, so we'll call it the new Sally-Mobile. Sally loves her a stationwagon....sadly no wood on the sides but the I-pod port makes up for that.

Who's The Bigger Whiner....Me or Hamlet?

So here I sit. John is across the table doing....wait for it...email and shouting at someone on the phone. And I think he is doing some bill paying for the Baku office, too. Whatever it is, it takes 2 laptops and 2 cellphones. He's kind of distracting me, and what's so odd is that he has taken to talking to himself when he doesn't have someone on the other end of the phone line. I wonder when he started doing that.

I picked John up at the airport this morning. I thought he was an hour late, but he wasn't. I was an hour early since he told me his flight arrived at 10:30, which wasn't exactly accurate. Oh well....I had a nice hour leaning against a post watching an long river of humanity pass through the sliding glass doors. Lots of hugging and kissing and flag waving. Danes apparently like to take paper Danish flags on sticks when they go to the airport to collect people. I saw a lot of single thorny roses and one adorable Himalayan kitten....pretty enough for a package of toilet paper.

The movers were supposed to deliver our things this afternoon, but sadly there's been a complication.

I think I'll take the high road, look out my window at my hard won beautiful back yard, and think about how this lovely afternoon is undisturbed by a bunch of guys tramping over my nice clean floors with their dirty boots.

But, then again, looking for someone to blame can be a pleasant pass time, too. It seems that there was a mix up about who was supposed to get paid how much and when. John's understanding was that as long as the Baku office got their payment in hand, the shipment would be released. But apparently that wasn't quite the case. He says he got this information from both the Baku branch and the Danish branch. The Danish agent even called me yesterday to confirm the time for 2 PM.

So, here we are at 3:30 and no stuff. Apparently, the Danish agent was supposed to be paid prior to delivery, too. I'm not sure why neither he, nor the guy in Baku, bothered to tell us before this morning. I mean come on people! Here we are minding our own business, dutifully waiting in line for some hot dogs, and in comes a text message. Where is our money?

Well, shut my mouth and call me stupid.

"You told me you were going to bring the invoice with you when you came to the house this afternoon."

"But, no, we are going to mail the invoice to you next week."

"The invoice that had to be paid before today in order to get delivery?"

"Yes, that invoice."

I'm in the mood to be kind because I can see the backyard and it's pretty, and I'm lucky because not everyone has such a nice backyard to look at, and I do have a chair to sit on, and a TV to watch if I want to, and no one is going to die today if I don't get my stuff.....unlike in Hamlet where lots of people died 12 miles up the road at Elsinore (Helsinger).

I'm just going to put that one down to the technical superiority of the Danes who seem to have mastered time travel before anyone else. They probably managed that in their spare time since Monday and Friday next week are holidays. I'm told we could get it on Tuesday or Wednesday if they get paid first. John figures we'll give them cash because it's only about $500 they're waiting on.....but I can't believe I'll be sitting in limbo for another long weekend over a lousy 500 bucks. By the time I get this house together, it will be time to go back to Canada. God! I'm in full Martha mode and it's going to waste!

**The flowers are very pretty....and the birds sing sweetly....and in another month we can use the pool.**

And tomorrow I will have my precious straw broom and Columbia flip flops.

John confessed that some of the problems might be language issues. Ya think??

**Flip flops flip flops flip flops flip flops.**

We did get some other moving related news in the process, however. Something much more interesting than time and date of delivery. Apparently, this company....isn't exactly a moving company. They are shippers. So, all that was going to happen here this afternoon was the delivery of wooden crates on wooden pallets to the driveway....sign here, thank you very much, have a nice day. Getting it into the house was going to be up to us. Dayum! I sure hope they set it down close to the living quarters.

Some Nice Normal Stuff For A Change

Like llamas at the garden center.


And a froggy on the pool flusher-thingy.


My driving a stick is back to normal. John left the car for me out at the airport, which is south of Copenhagen, when he left for Baku the other day. I couldn't take him, and keep the car, because I had to go into the city with a relocation assistant, to get my resident permit stamped into my passport at the same time he had to leave.

I managed to get out of the parking garage with no stalling, but the GPS didn't pick up a signal until I was out of the garage and on my way. Of course, my way was the wrong way and the voice in the box thought it expedient to take me through downtown Copenhagen before putting me on the motorway. And here I was with a rare and fresh Starbucks coffee and no free hands. The true meaning of irony.

But....I made it. I wasn't even nervous. I suppose not having access to my caffeine helped with that. Maybe, just maybe, we should have taken a manual transmission auto after all.

Wait, there is that coffee thing to consider....I suppose....considering we dumped the Audi for a shortage of cup holders.

Another normal thing...this is John sending an email in bed...this is not some UFO.


I try to get us out of the house, when he isn't at the office, to do something. ANYTHING! I'm content to have him drive while I shoot photos from the passenger window of the car. John is getting a lot better at not pulling up adjacent to lampposts since we've been doing this, as a couple for a long time. He definitely gets it now, and when he hears that familiar heavy sigh, he just asks, "Which way?"

Sometimes I drive since it gives me better control and I don't drive so fast that I miss something good. The only trouble is that if John's hands are free he's thumbing out a message to someone....and wouldn't you know it.... his new phone has a QWERTY keyboard. Since his Blackberry's global plan was too expensive to keep up, he keeps that on the side of the tub, so he can practice typing on those teeny tiny keys while he is otherwise indisposed.

Here are a few samples from our latest tours of the neighboring countryside. In our travels we've learned some very important things, not the least of which is that there are a few grocery stores, tucked away here and there, that are open on Sundays and holidays. They aren't big grocery stores but the have enough to ensure we have a decent salad for supper and microwave popcorn. Up in Helsingor, I found the number one item on my list of "must haves". Too bad they weren't open.


Skumgummi is probably Danish for Walmart. I cropped that photo of the broom-that-dreams-are-made-of to see if I could afford it.


YES!!! 58 kroner (roughly 10 bucks) but I don't think I should tell anyone that I'm driving 20 kilometers to buy a broom.

The government mandated closing hours in Denmark are a bit of a hardship on us North Americans who are used to all night Walmarts and Krogers. Most stores, including the grocery, are closed by 6 PM on weekedays (8 PM on Fridays) and 5 PM on Saturday. Forget Sunday....only small places are allowed to open.

After we left Helsingor, we took some small back roads to Hillerod which turned out to be a much bigger town than I thought it was. It isn't BIG big, but it's definitely got way more to offer than a village! We parked the car under yonder tree, on the right, and got our first parking ticket.


Actually, WE weren't driving, so I guess WE didn't get the ticket...technically. Not sure why he/we got the ticket. All of the Danish cars were conspicuously absent, couldn't see a "No Parking" sign anywhere....but I have to assume we broke some sort of convention like parking on a pedestrian mall on a holiday. Holidays are serious business here. Come to think of it holidays were serious business in Azerbaijan, too. You know, I think that North Americans are definitely not getting enough....more holidays....might fix that.

Not sure it is a pedestrian mall. Don't see any pedestrians. Everything around here looks like a pedestrian mall on holidays with everything shuttered and dim. And we did see a few cars driving along the empty street, earlier....we think. We are perplexed and we can't seem to find a due date on the ticket. Parking tickets seem to be serious business here as well, since our little foray into law breaking is going to cost 500 kroner!

John made us drive around for a bit in hopes of finding the person who gave us the ticket, but there was no sign of anyone, on this, or on any of the neighboring streets. My theory is that parking enforcement buddy sits in the window at the local Ale-hus waiting for hapless customers, then he pounces.


I hope this view was worth it. Of course, it was one of those rare times when I actually got out of the car to take a picture. What is a zoom lens for anyhow?


That castle's pretty impressive and all but I think I like the Extreme Home Chocolate Make-Over version myself.


We ate dinner at the Chinese restaurant (it has the red awnings in the crime scene photo above). It wasn't busy (probably because there is no freaking place to park) and the food took a little while to come. I managed to keep busy taking pictures from my seat.




There were these 3 really cool looking painted Buddhas on the bar that I really wanted to take a picture of, but by the time we were finished our meal there was a family sitting in the way, so I let them eat in peace.

I didn't stay disappointed for too long because the best thing that's happened to me a long time was looming right around the corner! On the way back to the car (which we had moved to a mutually agreeable location between John and the municipality), I spied in the window of Outdoor Living my Columbia flip-flops....my beloved no longer available in the US or Canada Columbia flip-flops! I have been looking for these for almost 2 years. I haven't even been able to find them online, and here they were all along....hanging out in Hillerod waiting for me to walk by. Too bad they were closed.

I don't think he was trying to burst my bubble, but John (still clutching his 500 kroner parking ticket) suggested they might be a quite expensive, here, in a little specialty shop window. Like I care about price where my feet and the best flip-flops in the world are concerned? Like the man who wouldn't give me a foot rub, if his life depended on it, should care either? This is Thursday, in 2 more days I will have my Columbia flip-flops!

All in all it was a pretty good day, despite the parking ticket. We discovered a pretty good Chinese food restaurant, discovered after we ordered that they had a Mongolian Buffet at the back, John only had one 45 minute conference call on the side of the road near Allerod, and I programmed my flip-flops into the GPS.

Later that night, when I caught John sending emails in bed again, flashed him.

I used the camera since this was for posterity, not old times sake.

Famous Last Words

** This afternoon I got the word to pack up we're getting out. The company is sending out a letter to inform the landlord we are vacating. One more night then it's off to a hotel. Who suggested we get one of those black light things that show you where the splatters are? That could have waited till we were gone, couldn't it?**

We're still here.

John came home from work that day and told me that he had arranged another meeting with the landlord, here at the house. He had prepared a list of "demands". Things that had to be done in order for us stay. But...but....but....

Well, he thought that if the guy couldn't, or wouldn't, agree to all the amendments to the lease agreement, then it would be a lot easier to get out of it. I was still at the "but.....but" stage when the landlord showed up at the door. I thought the poor fellow was going to cry when John handed him his 2 page list of "amendments". It asked for new sofas and beds, carpets and curtains, we wanted pretty much all of the soft goods in the house replaced. John figured there was no way this guy could manage it all, and he was right. He couldn't. Except, that which had seemed so easy when he typed it up at the office, wasn't so easy when the man with the holes in his socks was sitting across the dining room table.

I prefer "arms length" transactions myself.

So.....there we were. Left with enough pregnant pauses in the conversation to give a person heartburn. I made some lame comment like "The new washer and dryer work good!" So, lame I tried to make an exit on the grounds of having ironing to do. John shot me the hairy eyeball, so I remained seated, and silent, with my hands in my lap.

Somehow, at the end of it all, we had agreed to let the company sublet it to someone else....which is what was supposed to happen when we drove over yonder without looking back. By now of course the back yard rhododendrons are in full bloom and the pool guy has been here twice. It's looking mighty fine out there.


John then says that he's pretty sure that the company will replace all the furniture in the house if we want to stay in it. Doing that will save them money in the long run, and they'd most likely have to furnish the next place anyway. He asks and they agree.

Well, that's sort of back to square one, and I've put several days distance between me and my gentleman caller. I think I can do it. John is dangling an all day shopping trip to IKEA with someone else's money. He is offering Flip This House, Trading Spaces, and While You Were Out all rolled into one. I mull it over and tell him if he tosses in an Extreme Home Makeover we've got a deal. I feel like I've spiraled right from my living room into HGTV.

The very next day we were out at IKEA (which is really pronounced EE-KAY-AH...well whaddya know?) and I now have new sofas, beds, curtains, plus various and sundry odds, and ends, to make it all come together, There is also beautiful a stack of precious "do-it-yourself" furniture in boxes.

I also have a husband who went out of town for four days. My time alone will be the true comfort test.

As far as I know, right now, it looks like we're staying in this house. I guess that's a good thing. We definitely like the house, the pool is a nice bonus, and so is the beautiful yard. When we went to the bank to open our account last week, we couldn't order our bank cards because we weren't sure of our permanent address, I couldn't get my tax ID number without it either. Our things have arrived from Baku and the shipper is waiting to deliver them. It was time to make a decision and stick with it, so we did, and I got to decorate a whole house all at once. I come so cheap.

The cleaners will be here in the morning, bright and early. John hired a global company that mostly does offices and cafeterias. They are charging what I consider to be an astronomical sum per hour but....heck....I may come cheap but I'm worth it.

The landlord will be here in the afternoon to collect his furniture and the rest of his belongings. There are a couple of items, I discovered over the last couple of days, that I'm not returning to him. While cleaning up for the cleaners (yes....I know....) I happened to open the night table drawer....thinking I would sweep the odd bits of junk John had left on top of it into the drawer to clear the top. In the drawer was a brand new bottle of Tums, two phone chargers, and a button.....all John's. And leave it to a guy just to open the door and dump his stuff in it without looking. Rolling around at the back of the drawer were these.....

Exhibit A...



Exhibit B...



Both have gone into the garbage along with one unopened bottle of Tums, 2 cellphone chargers, and a button.

Not that these kinds of things are an issue anymore....thanks to my new outfit.


I'm positvely thrilled it comes in more than just white, and man, this thing sure hides a lot of excess blubber! The only thing nasty in here are the potato chip crumbs.

Anyway, yesterday as I was sitting here pecking out another list for IKEA shopping I caught some movement in the driveway out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at the dining room window and there was a thirty-ish man with blond curly hair reading the sign on the front door. He finished reading and was gone in a few seconds.


Literally translated it says "Business closed. Do not ring the doorbell. New owner lives here." I think I will revise it with Google translate. To say "New Owner, Dismemberment Kennels, Breeders of Champion Pit Bulls". I'll make it all cute and fancy with little paw prints and such. I hope that won't deter the nice boys from coming up the driveway.



**That heart in the first picture? Just out for a drive in the countryside a few kilometers from the house, and there it was hanging on the end of somebody's private road. Cracked me up....but then I began to wonder...why is there a heart at the end of the driveway to a farm? It doesn't say I Love Horses or Love Spoken Here. There's just a blank red heart.....Hmmph! Mine's much fancier!**

My First Day in Denmark......Sounds Boring But Stick It Out

Whew! Finally here! My flights were uneventful and on time. All of my luggage made it…wheels, handles and tags intact. My mood was pretty good thanks to “podding” across the Atlantic in one of those first class seats that go flat for sleeping. As an added bonus, a chatty Mary Walsh was a couple of pods behind me and Air Canada gave us some nice swag.

John picked me up at the airport; we got all of the bags into the back of the little tin can Toyota he’s rented……it’s smaller than a Yaris! He told me the automatic Audi would take 12 weeks to get here, so now we have to decide whether we’re going to take it in a stick, or look for something else. This’ll make a good job for the weekend. We drove straight to the house to drop off the luggage before dinner and to have a look around.

The landlord has been by to collect some of his belongings. When John moved in last Monday, the house was still full of his family’s personal things. There were at least a dozen statues of Buddha. The drawers in the buffet were full of odds and ends. There were dishes in the dishwasher. The vacuum cleaner was plugged in but no one had cleaned. All of the bedding was still here. Most of the bedding is still here. About 95% of the Buddha’s are gone. There is still a giant size paper lei tacked to the dining room wall and a dozen or so dusty artificial flower arrangements. There is a lot of stuff that needs to be taken out, and a lot of stuff that still needs to be done. The heaters don’t work…….neither do the washer and dryer, but a new set is to be delivered next Tuesday. The arms of the white sofa are nasty (*flips through the IKEA catalog*). Do they sell fireplace grates, carpet shampooers, and brooms, too?

This morning, the first thing I saw when I got out of bed was a black cat strolling along the side of the pool. I’m really not superstitious, but……..wouldn’t you know it? The internet was out. I couldn’t find John’s phone number to let him know I was going to be off line all day with my sanity hanging by a thread, so I decided to clean the landlord’s junk out of the kitchen to pass the time. I stayed in my best flannel nightgown and wore my navy quilted jacket to keep me warm in the freezing kitchen. I complemented my ensemble with a lovely worn pair of Sherpa fleece slippers and some plaid reading glasses……all the better to see the dirt. I certainly wasn’t expecting a gentleman caller at 9:15. But then I guess the gentleman caller wasn’t exactly expecting me either. Maybe he got a bigger shock than I did…..if that’s possible.

Poor man, he was expecting a young Thai hottie and he got a jet lagged earth mother instead.

When the doorbell rang, my first thought was not to answer it, which is what I mostly did in Baku. Talking to someone through the gate phone, there, was a waste of time and the energy needed to do the three flights of stairs to get down to the door phone. Telemarketing in Baku is nonexistent but door to door peddling is still big. I was never keen to buy household cleaners that come in old Pepsi bottles…..though I do believe all claims that said product would eat the grime of anything it came into contact with…..easily.

This time I decided to be friendly, turn over a new leaf, and despite looking a little bit odd and eccentric, I went to the door. Through the glass I could see a nice looking man, somewhere in his 40’s, I think….I opened the door and he sort of chuckled. I gave him the quizzical eyebrow…. (not what he came for)….

”Yes?”, says I.

“I guess you’re new here,” he replies in heavily accented English.

“We moved in last night.”

“Oh,” he says…….“I was looking for the ladies.” (Which he obviously hasn’t found)

“Ladies?”......another quizzical eyebrow.

“Yes, there were some very nice ladies here.”

“Ladies???..... Here???”.... (Quizzical eyebrow is replaced with a deeply furrowed one.)

“Oh, yes, VERY NICE ladies.” (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

He then said that this was a place for "bol".... but he didn't know the English word for it

“Ladies? Did these happen to be Thai ladies by any chance?" (The wife of the landlord is Thai.)

“Yes, VERY NICE ladies. I'm a very good customer.”

“Oh. I see.” (Unfortunately, I think I really DO see.)

“How long are you leasing for?”

“Um……Not as long as I planned, actually.”

“Well, I'm sure you will meet many more like me." (Chuckles)

“Maybe you can make a little money while you are here.” (Shrugs)

“But you might want to take that heart off the door if you don’t.” (Points)

“Huh???” (Follows finger, sees shiny red glass heart hanging by a string on the front door and removes it.) “Thanks.”

“Bye”

“Bye” (Shuts and locks door, shuts inside door, catches a glimpse of self in the mirror…..finds John’s new phone number in less than 10 seconds.)

I honestly didn’t know where to begin telling John about what had just happened. I didn’t want to freak him out and have him think I was hurt or anything, but it definitely started as one of those phone calls where the recipient feels the need to steal themselves for a blow. I tried to laugh, which I think only made me sound hysterical (which to my credit I wasn’t), so I ended up making an impossible riddle about what would be the deal breaker on this house. Considering we’d been dealing with left over dirt, third party clutter, and non-working heaters, I’m sure John expected to hear that the roof was leaking. So I had to repeat “We are living in a brothel”…….twice….maybe three times. I told him about the man at the door. I started to cry and laugh all at the same time again. Oh...I think that IS hysterical. But….geez….a funny story is a funny story…..

Until the “john” who has issues with his mother shows up and wants to disembowel you.

I was just gobsmacked that the nice young man who we rented from was a pimp. John thought it through a bit more and concluded that the nice young man probably had no idea what was going on in his house when he wasn’t home. I guess the red heart on the door was a “Coast is Clear – Open for Business” code…..buddy did tell me to take it off.

The heart that is.

John set up a meeting at our house for 5 PM and booked the hotel I demanded he book. He talked to the lawyer at work that had drawn up and signed our lease. I made sure all of the blinds were drawn at the front of the house and settled in for the day at the dining room table. Then I thought maybe John should just call this guy to tell him over the phone that we were getting outta Dodge….forget the face to face. Like…..how do you tell someone that his wife’s been turning tricks in their home behind his back? I think the phone is as good a way as any….so John called him.

I’m not sure if that was the best thing to do, after all, since I didn’t get to see the look on his face and he came to the meeting with his own “logical explanation”. Apparently, his “girl” had a massage business that she conducted out of the house but she had closed it 6 months ago because business was bad.

Uh, huh….sure she did.

I did get the impression that the poor sap believed it when he said it was “massage only, not for sex.” He said he had papers from the government to prove that there was such a business and that it was closed. So here we sat…..the three of us, around the dining room table. I’m retelling my morning experience wondering if it’s going to sink in about his wife. He isn’t biting. He didn’t seem as surprised as I would think he would be if someone told me the same thing was going on in my household. John thinks it was just beyond his comprehension. I’m still not sure. He stands to lose the tenant he has in the house he tried to rent for 4 months. He seems to need money and there were holes in the toes of both of his socks.

The little “missus” seems too busy to take care of her own man.

By the end of an hour, John and I are both reconsidering. I know John feels terribly sorry for the guy and I’m not so sure we can get out of the lease. Well, if the company can get out of it, since they signed it, and pay the rent….the legal department wasn’t sure (since prostitution is legal in Denmark)....and I have no proof that there was even a guy at my door. (The next one will pose for a photo.) We decide to stay one more night and think it over.

On Friday things seem to look better. No one comes to the door and I’m just looking forward to dinner out and a visit to IKEA. Sometimes the ability to ignore the bad stuff comes in handy. My head is trying to accept the situation and it's doing a decent job of it. Every once in a while I get the heebie-jeebies. Today my gut was winning and I've found myself online looking at the housing sites again. John drew up a list of things we want done....starting with replacing the furniture and a thorough 3rd party cleaning of the house. I'm not sure there is enough Clorox in all of Scandinavia, even if the landlord does agree to it.

He swore up and down that his wife and her son had no trouble from any of the customers who came for a "massage". Everyone was very nice about it.....just like the ladies, I guess. Everyone is very nice and civilized in Denmark, are they not? John and I find ourselves catching glimpses and laughing. Then I start to cry a little bit....because deep down I probably am hysterical, and I know he is going on a business trip to Baku in a week.

And why is my dog in Canada?

Since the Danes don't allow people to shop on Sundays for anything but cars, we went car shopping and picked out a Volkswagon Golf....the Audi A3 had only one cup holder in the front. Talk about your deal breakers. We loved the car but one cup holder just wasn't going to cut it.

On the way home from car shopping, we see one of our next door neighbors for the first time. The gentleman is struggling to get his electric scooter up into his driveway. It's obvious he's had a stroke sometime ago, and with his one good hand, he can't seem to budge the scooter. John parks the car in our driveway and goes over to help. I'm not sure whether the neighbor was so grateful for the help that he felt a return favor was in order but......he told John that the "very nice ladies" who lived there before us were "selling sex." John hadn't even asked him if he knew the last people. John did ask him how long ago they had stopped. He was told about a month ago. That's when the lot of them left the house and went on holiday to Bangkok. Hookers from Bangkok......geez...

We sort of remembered now that there was a car load of young women who drove out of the driveway on one of the afternoons we went to look at the house. I've also remembered that the bedding on the bed on the master bedroom was different each time we went to the house...and different again from the bedding in the photo of it on the web. I need to remember that there is a reason for most weird stuff. Next time....no weird stuff will go unexplained.

I really think, if there is any way at all I am getting out of here. John likes the house but will go if I'm not comfortable. If I am being completely honest with myself, I don't think I am....no matter how funny this is. It will be just as funny twenty years from now whether I'm here for 2 more days or 2 years.

On Friday, the landlord came by with a big sign for the front door which says, in Danish, "Business closed" Do not ring the door bell. There is a new person here." He said if someone rings the bell they are stupid.

Ummmm...yeah....

**This morning I finally got around to running a google translate on "bol". I took a one more stab at the spelling, but "bolle" from Danish to English - try it and see what comes up.**

** This afternoon I got the word to pack up we're getting out. The company is sending out a letter to inform the landlord we are vacating. One more night then it's off to a hotel. Who suggested we get one of those black light things that show you where the splatters are? That could have waited till we were gone, couldn't it?**

Missing The Barker Of Baku

It seems so quiet around here without him. Kenai’s spending some time in the Annapolis Valley, back in Nova Scotia. He has to wait four months before he can come to Denmark. It’s tough knowing I’m not even going to see him until I get home again in July, and tougher thinking he’s probably wondering what in the heck he did that made me send him off to doggie vacation this long. I think after a week dogs begin to think of it less as a vacation and more as a time out.

Mom and I went down to see him a few times before I left for Denmark and he seemed to be fine, adjusting well to his new surroundings.


He’s got a nice little room with a doggie door to his run, and it’s up to him whether he wants to be inside or go out.


The boarding facility has large fenced yards and the dogs are let out in compatible groups to spend as much time as they like outside. I’m told Kenai likes to spend all of his time outside. I know when I was visiting, it was tough to get him to come in…even when I was leaving. He really does seem quite content.


All of the dogs, that are up to it, get walks in the woods every day. Kenai has been on some short ones until he gets some weight off and his arthritis lessens. I didn’t see any improvement in the stiffness in his back while I was there, but he does look like he’s lost some weight. He turned into a bit of a chunk in Baku and now he’s on diet dog food and special treats with portion control. Being in the care of a stranger is probably good for his weight loss since there is no John there to hand him toast crusts every morning. By August he should be positively svelte. If he is, I’m checking into his room for a few months.

There aren’t a lot of dogs at the place he is staying. It’s a new business with doggie day care, overnight boarding and a bark park where people can take their dogs to run off leash. So far Kenai’s made a friend of the owner’s black lab and has tried to eat a young Springer Spaniel that got a little bit too close and rambunctious. I took him two Walmart happy face soccer balls, one for inside and one for out. He was pretty excited to see those.

I can check up on him with phone calls and email. I’ve arranged a file for him at a nearby vet so he can get any care he needs and be taken there for his rabies titer on the 25th. John called the Danish Animal Import Enforcement people to see if there was a chance of getting him in earlier, but with the EU regulations, dispensations are no longer possible. So…..4 months it is. Poor guy!

As bad as I feel about leaving him like this, I am glad he is happy and well cared for. Most of the time I was there he spent rolling on his back in the grass. He didn’t even stand up when I left. He just sat there like this looking at me. Who knows…maybe he didn’t think I was worth the effort of getting up. He does look a little cheesed in this one, doesn’t he?

Sally Gets A Beemer

Well, almost.....I got an email from John the other day that contained links to our 4 choices of autos for Denmark. Unlike the Swedes to the north, and the Germans to the south, the bicycle loving Danes don't make cars...so this list of lease options included a Peugeot from France, an Altea from Spain (new one on me), and of course a pair of Germans...a BMW and an Audi. And to think.....I asked John (who says we can't afford to live in Europe) if he thought we might be lucky enough to get a Golf!

Sally's steel loving, road-hugging heart purred a little louder and shifted into third. Bless his heart. First on the list was the BMW 1-series 2009 116d Advantage Sportwagon. Next was the Audi A3 Sportback Attraction 1,4 TFSI 125HP 6G.....and then those other two. No offense to the French and the Spanish intended.

John asked me which one I wanted. I provided an appropriate response in the form of "DUH!"

But I knew he had sent me these links so I'd do the research. I think he thinks I like doing that sort of thing, and he's right, sometimes I do. But I'm not fond of research that doesn't give me the answers I want....especially when I have a well rooted expectation of the answers I'm going to get. BMW's are great cars, are they not? What auto reviewer is going to disagree with that? Well, I can't say any reviewers dissed the little Beemer. They praised its handling. They loved how fun it was to drive, how responsive and peppy it was....how wonderful the steering. Wonderful steering because the BMW Series 1 has rear wheel drive! Crap! I read that it sucks in the snow and the back seat is cramped....very cramped. But mostly it sucks in the snow. And it snows in Denmark. So close and yet so far......*sigh*

There was to be no blue& white pinwheel in Sally's (immediate) future, and all that talk about driving pleasure and exhilaration was a stake to the heart, just a stake through the heart. Ouch!

Even the Audi looks doubtful at this point. I read that some of them only have one cup holder in the front seat.....way to go Germany!