Famous Last Words

** This afternoon I got the word to pack up we're getting out. The company is sending out a letter to inform the landlord we are vacating. One more night then it's off to a hotel. Who suggested we get one of those black light things that show you where the splatters are? That could have waited till we were gone, couldn't it?**

We're still here.

John came home from work that day and told me that he had arranged another meeting with the landlord, here at the house. He had prepared a list of "demands". Things that had to be done in order for us stay. But...but....but....

Well, he thought that if the guy couldn't, or wouldn't, agree to all the amendments to the lease agreement, then it would be a lot easier to get out of it. I was still at the "but.....but" stage when the landlord showed up at the door. I thought the poor fellow was going to cry when John handed him his 2 page list of "amendments". It asked for new sofas and beds, carpets and curtains, we wanted pretty much all of the soft goods in the house replaced. John figured there was no way this guy could manage it all, and he was right. He couldn't. Except, that which had seemed so easy when he typed it up at the office, wasn't so easy when the man with the holes in his socks was sitting across the dining room table.

I prefer "arms length" transactions myself.

So.....there we were. Left with enough pregnant pauses in the conversation to give a person heartburn. I made some lame comment like "The new washer and dryer work good!" So, lame I tried to make an exit on the grounds of having ironing to do. John shot me the hairy eyeball, so I remained seated, and silent, with my hands in my lap.

Somehow, at the end of it all, we had agreed to let the company sublet it to someone else....which is what was supposed to happen when we drove over yonder without looking back. By now of course the back yard rhododendrons are in full bloom and the pool guy has been here twice. It's looking mighty fine out there.


John then says that he's pretty sure that the company will replace all the furniture in the house if we want to stay in it. Doing that will save them money in the long run, and they'd most likely have to furnish the next place anyway. He asks and they agree.

Well, that's sort of back to square one, and I've put several days distance between me and my gentleman caller. I think I can do it. John is dangling an all day shopping trip to IKEA with someone else's money. He is offering Flip This House, Trading Spaces, and While You Were Out all rolled into one. I mull it over and tell him if he tosses in an Extreme Home Makeover we've got a deal. I feel like I've spiraled right from my living room into HGTV.

The very next day we were out at IKEA (which is really pronounced EE-KAY-AH...well whaddya know?) and I now have new sofas, beds, curtains, plus various and sundry odds, and ends, to make it all come together, There is also beautiful a stack of precious "do-it-yourself" furniture in boxes.

I also have a husband who went out of town for four days. My time alone will be the true comfort test.

As far as I know, right now, it looks like we're staying in this house. I guess that's a good thing. We definitely like the house, the pool is a nice bonus, and so is the beautiful yard. When we went to the bank to open our account last week, we couldn't order our bank cards because we weren't sure of our permanent address, I couldn't get my tax ID number without it either. Our things have arrived from Baku and the shipper is waiting to deliver them. It was time to make a decision and stick with it, so we did, and I got to decorate a whole house all at once. I come so cheap.

The cleaners will be here in the morning, bright and early. John hired a global company that mostly does offices and cafeterias. They are charging what I consider to be an astronomical sum per hour but....heck....I may come cheap but I'm worth it.

The landlord will be here in the afternoon to collect his furniture and the rest of his belongings. There are a couple of items, I discovered over the last couple of days, that I'm not returning to him. While cleaning up for the cleaners (yes....I know....) I happened to open the night table drawer....thinking I would sweep the odd bits of junk John had left on top of it into the drawer to clear the top. In the drawer was a brand new bottle of Tums, two phone chargers, and a button.....all John's. And leave it to a guy just to open the door and dump his stuff in it without looking. Rolling around at the back of the drawer were these.....

Exhibit A...



Exhibit B...



Both have gone into the garbage along with one unopened bottle of Tums, 2 cellphone chargers, and a button.

Not that these kinds of things are an issue anymore....thanks to my new outfit.


I'm positvely thrilled it comes in more than just white, and man, this thing sure hides a lot of excess blubber! The only thing nasty in here are the potato chip crumbs.

Anyway, yesterday as I was sitting here pecking out another list for IKEA shopping I caught some movement in the driveway out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at the dining room window and there was a thirty-ish man with blond curly hair reading the sign on the front door. He finished reading and was gone in a few seconds.


Literally translated it says "Business closed. Do not ring the doorbell. New owner lives here." I think I will revise it with Google translate. To say "New Owner, Dismemberment Kennels, Breeders of Champion Pit Bulls". I'll make it all cute and fancy with little paw prints and such. I hope that won't deter the nice boys from coming up the driveway.



**That heart in the first picture? Just out for a drive in the countryside a few kilometers from the house, and there it was hanging on the end of somebody's private road. Cracked me up....but then I began to wonder...why is there a heart at the end of the driveway to a farm? It doesn't say I Love Horses or Love Spoken Here. There's just a blank red heart.....Hmmph! Mine's much fancier!**